Could this be just a phase?

Before I go further let me just say this...

I wasn't planning on writing this but the more I ignore it, the more disillusioned that I get.

If it is of any consolation, let me make it clear that in no way do I plan to depart from the band that is PayItForward, but I cannot also help but feel discouraged with the way things are going right now. This is supposed to be about a collective musical collaboration that rests on the friendship that's been shared by every individual member. But looking at it now, I find it surprising that such a bond seems quite vague. I cannot help but feel as though I this was just a mere burn-out reaction to numerous consecutive gigs. I believe this goes far beyond.

I'm really not quite sure what on earth is happening with every single member. But getting everybody to have the motivation to play again is really becoming such a difficult task. Especially since little effort to encourage or edify one another is exhibited. I can't help but think that there's animosity towards each other ever since the last Slam Demockracy gig on Freedom Bar up to the time that we can't seem to make ourselves available for at least a practice. It's really tiring to ask someone who refuses to play out of sheer stubborn slothfulness. Nor is it a great feeling to have someone constantly telling you to ask the slothful one to have interest in playing again. Its discouraging to see someone make a lame excuse about his need to get home early, but instead chose to stay and watch the rest of us play, without him. Could it be just because someone's afraid of a fear to be in a political gig? Or is it cool to have to constantly remind someone to be on the venue on time.?

This is sickening because it appears as though like we're suffering from rock star syndrome but the sad truth of the matter there is that we're not rock stars. Nor do we aspire to be such. This is getting pointless. Especially since there's already gigs that have been wasted away because of this crap that's been going on. It reminds me of Life Is Trying. But I don't want it to end up like Life Is Trying. Hopefully this would be just a phase that would soon be over. Hopefully.